April 1, 2015

Neurons Not Included, a ecommerce concern based in Allen Texas, today announced that it has acquired the assets of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg ( in a cash and stock transaction. Details of the financial structure of the transaction were not released.

Cynthia Green, Co-managing Partner of Neurons Not Included, announced the transaction today in a ceremony in Luxembourg's Parliament Square. She was joined by Pierre Mentuer, former Prime Minister of Luxembourg and newly named Chief Operating Officer of the newly-established Luxembourg Operating Unit of Neurons Not Included, and Felicia Unwahr, former Foreign Minister and now Executive Director of all European operations of Neurons Not Included.

As part of the transaction, certain cash-generating assets currently held in trust by the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg will be sold to the Republic of France. These assets comprise the majority of all Luxembourgs' proprietary superheated methane processing capabilities. Both Neurons Not included and the government of France believe this capability will significantly expand the French superheated methane market position.

Ms. Green said, "We are very pleased to add the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg to the Neurons Not Included family. We believe the synergies generated by combining our internet operations with the governmental structure of the Duchy will result in increased competition across the EU, as well as significant operational efficiencies for our both our ecommerce platforms." 

Mr. Menteur stated, "We are excited about the opportunity to work closely with Neurons Not Included. We have always held their ecommerce products in high regard, and this transaction will open up new possibilities for NNI and the citizens of Luxembourg." Ms. Unwahr added, "This transaction has been under consideration for some time, and we wish to thank the staff at Neurons Not Included for their professionalism and attention to detail through the negotiation period. Without their cooperation, many important components of the transaction could not have been realized."

While subject to EU regulatory approval, both NNI and Luxembourg believe that such approval will be rapidly forthcoming. More details of the transaction will be announced in the coming weeks.

For further information, please contact:

Randy Green
Director of External Affairs
Neurons Not Included

Bizarre Celebration Day Entry for March 28 March 26, 2015 22:59

March 28, according to our friends at, is National Weed Appreciation Day. Moving beyond the first and most obvious question ("who makes this stuff up?"), we are left to ponder what, exactly, one should appreciate about a weed. Here's is our best guess:

  1. If it weren't for the weed, you would have a bare patch of dirt, which can lead to ugly things like mud, ant nests and unsettling comments about bald spots and receding hair lines.
  2. As a plant, it is a consumer of greenhouse gases and exhaler of oxygen. Ergo, grow a weed, save the planet.
  3. The particularly nasty, spikey varieties can serve as a home defense barrier against very short and barefoot burglars.
  4. Certain varieties (such as dandelions) can provide a few moments of entertainment to children as they scatter the seeds with a strong blow. This teaches the children patience, because in a few months all those seeds will come back and offer thousands more opportunities for entertainment.
  5. Filling your yard with weeds is a good way to meet the landscape committee of your Homeowners Association. Weeds enrich your social life.
  6. Weed can be relaxing, mellowing and induce an appetite commonly known as "the munchies." Oops - sorry - wrong weed.

We suspect, however, that the real reason for Weed Appreciation Day is to give someone an excuse to avoid weeding the garden on that day. March 28th is a Saturday, youmight notice. So when someone 'invites' you to go pull the damn weeds in the flower bed, just let them know that it's National Weed Appreciation Day, and it's against the law in several states and the District of Columbia to damage or destroy a weed on March 28th.

We don't think it will work either, but it's worth a shot.

What's in a name? February 9, 2013 09:49

What's up with the name of this shop? Well, it goes like this...

We are actually refugees from Etsy, which is a fine eCommerce destination. We have a nice little shop there that has been very successful.  There's just one problem - the shop name. See, we kinda named the shop before we actually figured out exactly what we were going to sell in it. So now were stuck with a shop name that has virtually nothing to do with what's actually in it, which is geeky, nerdy, scientific-like stuff.

Off to Yellow Bug Boutique!

Seriously - 'Yellow Bug Boutique"? What were we thinking? It conjures up images of cute little butterflies, happy pastel-colored flowers, big puffy clouds. There's probably a unicorn wandering around somewhere in there. It makes my teeth hurt. 

So we decided it was time to do something about the ridiculous shop name. Then we discovered that there are about a bajillion references to Yellow Bug Boutique scattered all over the internet. Changing the shop name would mean that all those lovely links would be cast into the ozone, dangling around unattached, much like an over-served coed in a beach bar at Spring Break. (side note on the link - nothing good will come of this)

After much thought, we decided to create a whole new shop with a name that was more representational of our product mix. This would solve all our problems with market confusion and branding conflict. Seriously, how hard could it be?

Pretty hard, actually.

It turns out that coming up with a new name is harder than actual childbirth. I can say that because I'm a man and have never actually experienced the wonder and beauty of childbirth. My wife, however, assures me that squeezing a bowling-ball sized object from your unmentionable regions is much harder than naming an internet shop. I think she's just playing for sympathy. I also sleep on the couch a lot.

Eventually we came up with Neurons Not Included.  It has several advantages:

  • It doesn't make you think of unicorns.
  • It's one of the few combinations of words not already claimed on the internet.
  • It doesn't give you the slightest idea of what is actually for sale in the shop. We could be selling hand-crafted motor oil and no one would be any more confused than they are now.
  • It's better than "Geekfurter", which was under serious consideration.
So here it is - Neurons Not Included. Hope you like it!
Next - intimate details on the shop owners. But not that intimate, OK? Get your mind out of the gutter.